March 2012
19 posts
How many can you get? Answers below….
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The Simpsons, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, South Park, Smurfs, Asterix and Obelix, Burt and Ernie, Donald Duck, Lucky Luke and The Daltons
4 tags
You've Got Junk Mail
Here’s a list of today’s Top Ten junk mail and my mental responses.
18+Dating Locate someone near you looking for a good time
Really? 18? Even if I was in the market, 18 is half my age. 18 is nine years closer to my daughter’s age than it is mine. No thank you.
Hashim al-Adly please I need your help
Looks like Hashim wants...
3 tags
My Bride, My Fact-Checker
My bride is my fact-checker. And I am hers.
Before I place an order at a restaurant I ask my bride what kind of fish I like. Before my bride starts to watch a movie she asks me if she’s seen it before.
My bride knows what I’m allergic to. I know her favorite song. She tells me what insurance card to use. I remind her what authors she has read. She knows every medication I have ever taken. And I...
Top 5 Things Old People Like to Talk to Me About
1. Traffic 2. Weather 3. Where’ I’m parked 4. Whether or not I have to work today. 5. That Little Girl that was killed in the news
…Any day, any year, any decade…Always
“Re-reading some of my old blogs tonight and I think to myself, “Man, that...”
3 tags
"I LOVE BALD BABIES!"...and 14 other false...
When I said, “I love bald babies,” I was just scrambling to say something nice about that newborn of yours. Come on you know your baby is ugly, right? Don’t make me be the one to tell you. But if you can’t tell on your own, any of the following fourteen phrases will tell you the truth about your newborn.
*She looks just like her father. Exactly like her father. The way he...
1 tag
Oh, the Places He'll Go!
You should have seen my father’s face when he learned that his two grown sons sat down to pee.
“Not all the time, Dad,” I reassured my father. “Just late at night.”
My brother agreed.
It’s just easier than waking the kids up with my stream. It’s just easier than missing my mark in the dark and hearing the complaints from my wife. It’s just easier on the legs after a long day’s work standing up....
“…It’s like that weird moment when another parent at the local park...”
5 tags
I Still Remember My First Time
I still remember my first time. I remember exactly how it felt. It was so exhilarating, yet shameful. It was so intimate, yet invasive. It was so simple, yet my life would be forever complicated by its presence.
I still remember my first time. I felt like a little boy in a candy store, but also like some voyeuristic pervert being watched by everyone I had ever...
